Category: Politics

1. Confederate statues – I think they should be taken down. People shouldn’t be forced to pay for art that is offensive, whether it be a statue of a fighter for slavery or a jar of piss with a cross in it.

That being said, if local groups want to raise funds and move the statues to private property and spend their own money on upkeep, go ahead.

And yes, I’ve seen the George Orwell quote ad nauseam. First, if you want to remember your history, pay for it. Also, there’s how many books, films, and Wikipedia articles of the Civil War?

2. President Trump – Bumbled a golden opportunity to support free speech and decry the violence on both sides. Instead he gave the packs of jackels everything they wanted. Because he’s such a mealy mouthed boor with no articulable values, everyone gets to project their desires onto him and read into his words what they want. And would someone on his team get him off Twitter?

3. The “Alt-Right” coalition – A pathetic bunch of losers following dead religions in hopes of some relevance. Everyone thinks Trump emboldened them (including themselves), but really it was the left’s hatred of Trump and need to link him with scum that shone a big limelight on these pathetic losers. (Tikinacht? Really? Who thought this was a good idea?)

Oh and to the “alt-right,” even though I’ll defend your right to peaceably assemble and spew their brain dead dogma, please don’t confuse that with agreement. Any of you who raise a hand to my friends that you consider “subhuman” will quickly find yourself stopped with all legal and necessary force. And I really don’t give a damn if you survive the experience.

4. The “Ctrl-Left” / Antifa / Counterprotesters – They are not righteous heroes, but rather the flip-side of the alt-right. They have no problem with violence against those who disagree with them and also subscribe to discredited religions.(Seriously, the communist regimes made Hitler look like a piker when it came to state-sponsored mass murder.)

Your temper tantrums do not make you look like valiant, they make you look like thugs. If you want to be taken seriously, stop.

Same warning as above in regards to threats to my friends you don’t like.

5. The Media – Yes, you hate Trump. We get it. We also get that you have the attention span of a cocaine-infused ferret. Your breathless reporting of anything that can be remotely considered bad for the administration is tiring and unhelpful.

Fox, you’re the inverse, except just as tiring and unhelpful.

To the people who are ecstatic that Trump was elected because he’s going to be some sort of Conservative God-King and fix all of your problems – stop that shit! You’re acting like the Obama supporters in 2008, and your jiggly bits aren’t as attractive as their jiggly bits when you jump up and down celebrating.

To the mainstream media – Congratulations on getting the candidate you created elected while destroying your credibility at the same time. And the same goes to Fox News and Breitbart.

To the reluctant Republican voters – Great, Hillary was defeated. Now you’re going to have to fight even harder when Trump continues the socialization of America. Also, try to remember that not everyone on the other side is a rabid SJW who wants to destroy America.

To the reluctant Democrat voters – You got screwed by your party, and for that, you have my sympathies. I look forward to working with you on some issues and opposing you on others. Also, try to remember that not everyone on the other side is a racist, sexist homophobe bent on turning America white by sword and flame.

To those who think Trump’s elections means minorities are about to be oppressed – for fuck’s sake FIGHT. If you really think the Klan and its ilk have been given some sort of mandate, arm yourself and get some training on self-defense. Hell, I’ll help you. Hell, I’ll stand with you against those trying to do you harm. That being said, your constant harping on minute things as racism/sexism/homophobia is getting old and it makes people less likely to help when real problems arise. Please read “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” again.

To the Libertarian Party – This could have been your year to really make a difference, and you let your ticket fuck it up by the numbers. I mean, come on, Bill Weld?

To everyone else outside the nation screaming about how insane we are – Fuck you. You scream and bitch, and then the moment there’s a fucking problem, America is supposed to fix it.

To my fellow Americans – We survived. We survived the shittiest election that I can remember. Guess what? We’ll keep surviving. It’s what we do.