Month: June 2025

Promise to the Magic Heart – Chapter 7

What can be said of Ela Madrigal, a woman whose story is so tragically overshadowed by her counterparts? While many of the Heroes found redemption through their journeys, Ela’s tale is one of profound misfortune. Often referred to merely as Ela the Huntress, this label reduces her to a single aspect of her multifaceted identity. It was indeed her extraordinary hunting skills that brought her to prominence during the Reclamation War, leading the scouts with unparalleled expertise. However, her narrative is much more than her martial prowess. Had she been afforded the recognition she rightfully deserved, perhaps she would be celebrated today as a distinguished military leader and strategist. Her unwavering loyalty to her brother Marteen, though noble, ultimately led her into obscurity after the war’s end. One might ponder if her path would have been different had she not followed Marteen into the ranks of the Heroes, where she met Ral the Betrayer and became soulbound to a man whose treachery would seal her fate. Forced to kill her soulbond, Ela spiraled into madness—a consequence of the stringent roles and tragic circumstances imposed upon her. Ela’s story demands that we question the notion of fate. Should we believe that her tragic end was preordained, or can we accept that she possessed the agency to make her own choices? If her destiny was as unchangeable as it appears, then it stands as a testament to the most merciless force in existence. Yet, it is essential to recognize her as a woman of immense potential and complexity, whose legacy deserves to be remembered in full.– Artist Baken Baken, “A Retrospective of the Heroes – Five Years Later”

KURT

Kurt stood up from the bedroll and stretched. The morning pains were worse than Kurt remembered. One of the perks of being an Imperial emissary was he didn’t have to sleep on the ground. Of course, if he didn’t have to deal with Marteen’s hangover, then Kurt could have found a nice inn and slept in a bed.

“Good morning,” Rin said, pouring a cup of coffee.

“I thought Marteen had the last watch,” Kurt said before taking a sip.

“I needed the time alone to think.”

“About Ela?” Kurt asked.

“I keep wondering if I did the right thing by not killing her,” Rin said.

“I think it would have shattered you – just as killing Ral shattered her,” Kurt said. “She didn’t leave you any good choices. You took the least bad. You had no way of knowing how it would all end.”

“Don’t you think I’ve been telling myself that?” Rin snarled. Kurt took a step back. Rin held up his hand, silently asking for a moment.

“I’m sorry. After finding out what happened to her and dealing with Marteen’s hangover, it’s harder to keep this anger under control.” The words were a gut punch to Kurt.

“I hate seeing you in this pain. I’m so sorry about what I did,” Kurt said. “I will do anything to make this better between us. To get us at least close to where we were.”

“That’s one thing I realized last night,” Rin said. “I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like this ball of anger inside me is separate from my feelings towards you and Marteen.”

“Hrm.” Kurt stroked his beard.

“I know that look, Kurt. Something’s tickled a memory.”

“Yes, and I know it’s important, but I can’t remember what and why. Best to just let my mind rest and the memory will come up on its own. Good thing we have a long ride back to Lisandra.”

“I’m not going to Lisandra. I’m hunting my quarry, and then I’m going back to Marei.”

“Rin, there’s only one major road around here – the Imperial Highway. Your sorcerer and those nobles will have to travel down that at least part of the way.” Rin frowned, but there was something comforting about that. It was the same frown Rin always used when he got muley because he didn’t want to admit Kurt was right. Kurt could see the boy he raised in that expression.

“I’ll go wake Marteen. We need to get moving.”

“You remember—”

“Yes, I remember. It’ll be nice to be able to let out some of this anger,” Rin said, walking over to the sleeping Marteen. Kurt went to saddle his pony. Marteen deserved whatever Rin did. Besides, Marteen didn’t hold grudges for what they did to him when he was hungover. With long practice, Kurt ignored the shouts and sounds of scuffling behind him. There was a particularly sharp yelp from Marteen. Yep, the boy dumped water on the elf. Kurt was going to have to saddle Marteen’s horse as well, but he was going to make Rin get the elf on the horse.

After much more time than Kurt wanted, the three Heroes rode along the Imperial Highway in silence. Marteen was in the throes of his hangover and just stared at the road. Kurt was grateful for the silence. He needed time to think. He hated lying to Rin with their relationship on such shaky ground. However, as his father, he needed to help Rin. It wasn’t much to go on. An intuition based on an old conversation with Ral on their journey to rescue the princess. Plus, there was the look in Rin’s eyes when he spoke of Illana. If Kurt was right, he needed to get Rin to Lisandra. It was no longer about the promise, but healing his son.

Rin stopped in the middle of the road. Kurt brought his pony alongside Rin’s horse. Marteen didn’t notice and continued to let his horse walk. Kurt looked around, trying to see what caught Rin’s attention. This stretch of the Imperial Highway went through the Fellal Forest. Like the rest of the highway, the road was hard-packed dirt with grass on either side before the forest reasserted itself. Rin swept his eyes back and forth along the left tree line, but Kurt didn’t see or hear anything out of place. Without taking his eyes off the trees, Rin reached down and drew his rifle from the scabbard on his saddle.

“What is it son?” Kurt asked.

“Someone is stalking us,” Rin answered, still searching.

“Then we should probably find cover. Over there?” Kurt suggested, pointing to the tree line to the right of the highway.

“Lead Marteen there. I’ll cover you,” Rin said. Kurt nodded and kicked his pony to catch up with Marteen. Just as the dwarf grabbed the leads to Marteen’s horse when a loud thundercrack echoed through the forest. Kurt felt more than heard something whistle next to his head.

“GO!” yelled Rin as he snapped the rifle to his shoulder. Rin aimed at a cloud of blue-gray smoke wafting out of the trees and fired. An elf in hunting garb fell out of a tree. Kurt’s eyes locked on the musket clutched in the elf’s hands. Did that bastard Valera send assassins after them?

“Are we in a fight?” asked Marteen, looking up at the sounds.

“Yes, you idiot!” Kurt snapped. The forest exploded in deafening sound. More musket balls whistled by Kurt and Marteen.

“Excellent!” Marteen yelled. The elf slid off his horse with a burst of energy. Kurt snarled as he led the horses off the road. Damn the Mad God. Give that fool elf a fight and he was all smiles and sunshine.

“Rin, where’s your bow?” Marteen asked, running up Rin’s horse. Rin didn’t act surprised by Marteen. He just fired his rifle again. Another elf fell from the trees. Rin’s hands blurred as he reloaded the rifle and brought it back up to his shoulder.

“I don’t have one,” Rin answered an instant before killing another assassin. He reloaded his rifle again with that same deftness. Well, the boy hadn’t lost any of his speed.

“Don’t have one? What do you mean you don’t have one? Well, what do you have?” Marteen rummaged around Rin’s saddlebag and came up with a hatchet. Marteen scanned the tree line, ignoring the musket balls whipping around him. Marteen’s eyes narrowed as he found a target. He pitched the hatchet into a shrub at the base of one of the trees. He was rewarded with a scream of pain. Marteen leapt into the tree line and out of view.

Kurt was useless in the fight. All he had was his sword. How was he supposed to fight against people armed with guns? Kurt ducked as another bullet cracked above him. This was the most terrified he’d been in years. How did Rin just sit there on his horse and calmly trade shots with these brigands? As if on cue, Rin killed another an almost casual ease.

The firing from the trees stopped. Four brigands sprinted out of the treeline down the highway. Holding his long rifle in his left hand, Rin drew his revolver and scythed them down in one long stream of fire. As the last one fell, Rin holstered his revolver. He slid the rifle back in its scabbard before dropping down off his horse. Rin focused on the trees. There was some thrashing in the branches, and then Marteen emerged dragging a bleeding elf. Kurt led the horses back to Rin and Marteen.

“Rin, I brought you a present!” Marteen boomed. Marteen’s clothes were tattered and bloody from several nasty-looking cuts.

“Release me, you foul spawn of a sow!” the elf screamed. “If you do not–” As soon as the elf saw Rin, he fell silent and stared at the boy in horror. Rin gave the elf a predatory smile that chilled Kurt’s bones.

“So, this is what we were killing,” Rin said, and then walked closely to the elf, “Perhaps you best explain why you attacked us, friend, before I get annoyed.” The elf collapsed and bowed before Rin. The three Heroes traded quizzical looks.

“Goddess, you’re a human,” the elf said with wide-eyed surprise, “Please, they didn’t tell us there would be another Acolyte.”

“What were you told?” Rin asked.

“We were to kill the three people who were following the Acolytes. They didn’t say anything about there being more Acolytes. Please forgive me, Acolyte.” Rin motioned for the other two to back off a bit. Kurt dragged Marteen off the road before Marteen could say anything.

“You missed the three you were supposed to kill,” Rin said, “I was tracking them and because of your attack, I don’t know if I can find them.” The elf looked over at where Kurt and Marteen were standing before looking up at Rin in confusion. Rin could see the question bubbling up in the elf.

“They work for me,” Rin said, in a low tone that Kurt could barely hear, “They don’t understand our cause, but they are useful tools.” The elf nodded solemnly.

“Where are the others?” Rin asked.

“At the camp, Acolyte,” the elf answered, confused. “Where else would they be?”

“If you don’t know that, then you don’t need to know any more at this time,” Rin answered, menace coloring his tone. The elf paled. “You will lead us to the camp after I tend to my mercenaries. In the meantime, take care of your comrades’ bodies.” The elf nodded furiously and scampered off to the underbrush. Rin walked over and picked up one of the Purist’s muskets.

“Should we be letting him run free?” Marteen asked, walking over. Kurt followed behind him with an exasperated look on his face.

“As far as he’s concerned, I’m an Acolyte and you two are my minions,” Rin answered.

“Acolytes? I’ve heard the term come up from investigations into the Purists. We know they are high in the Purist hierarchy, but not how high,” Kurt said. “What do you have there?” Rin held up the musket for Marteen and Kurt to see.

“It’s one of those black-market muskets Valera’s been smuggling to the Purists,” Marteen said, disgusted. “He must have sent these brigands. I told you we shouldn’t have just left him.” Rin shook his head.

“Marteen, do you remember how much grief you gave me when I couldn’t tell the difference between a Crystal Woods long sword and a Southern River broad sword?” Rin asked.

“Yeah,” Marteen said, confused by the question.

“Be very glad I’m not as petty,” Rin replied, “See that stamp on the barrel?” Rin pointed at an eagle with its wings outstretched grasping a lightning bolt in its talons. “That’s an Arsenale Granito manufacturing mark. This musket was made for the Mareian Army. It was probably part of the lots surplussed to the Imperial Army.”

“How do you know that?” Marteen asked.

“If this musket was sold to the public, the armory would have placed a stamp over the eagle. Being in possession of an Arsenale weapon with a clean stamp is death by summary execution. No smuggler in his right mind would be caught with a musket with a clean mark. There’s enough private gun makers to risk dealing in these.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Kurt said.

“I’m going to find a sword,” Marteen grumbled as he strode to the line of bodies the captured elf was assembling for a pyre. Kurt sidled up to Rin.

“So, how did these weapons end up in the hands of the Purists?” Kurt asked.

“They’re either stealing them from Imperial Army units or a sympathizer in the Imperial government is diverting them.”

“Something to discuss with Sonya. You had me worried there, boy,” Kurt said.

“Why?”

“You were just standing out there in the open when all of those elves were shooting at you.”

“Oh that,” Rin said, nonchalantly. “If they’d lined up for a proper volley, we might have been in trouble. When that first ball went whistling by us, I knew they didn’t know how to use them properly. Muskets are finicky if they’re not handled properly.”

“How did you know that they were shooting muskets and not something like what you’re carrying?” Kurt asked, pointing at the revolver at Rin’s hip.

“Sound of the first shot and the smell of the gunpowder,” Rin answered. “Kurt, it’s not the first time I’ve been shot at.”

“Sometimes you’re as bad as Marteen,” Kurt muttered.

“I’m nowhere as bad as Marteen. I’ve never enjoyed battle the way he does,” Rin said.

“Then explain Pallus and you bickering during all those fights,” Kurt said. “There’s no way you two could keep that up if you weren’t enjoying the fight.”

“I was doing it to keep Pall from knowing how terrified I was,” Rin said. Kurt grunted what could have charitably called a chuckle. Rin looked back at their prisoner.

“Thank the Protector, we’ve picked up Smythe’s trail. With some luck, I can put that bastard in irons or in the ground and be back on my way to the Republic before the fortnight.” Kurt decided to test his theory a bit.

“So, you’re really not going to keep the promise to Illana?” Kurt asked, “I know you don’t owe the Empire anything, but what about Illana? Don’t you owe her an explanation for why you haven’t been in her life for the past decade?” Rin was quiet for a long moment. He turned and walked away from Kurt without answering. So, there was something still there.

“If you want to grab one of those muskets and a cartridge box from the dead, I’ll show you how to use it,” Rin said. “It might not hurt to have another gun on our side.” Kurt watched as Rin checked over the gear on his horse. Kurt smiled but made sure not to let Rin see it. Rin still fiddled with things when he didn’t want to decide. Kurt couldn’t blame his son. Women could be frightfully difficult to understand. Kurt just hoped the others wouldn’t ruin things before Kurt managed to get Rin to Lisandra. And Illana.

Chapter Eight

Ward Manor Happenings – 06.26.25

Father’s Day Happenings – Back on Father’s Day, we “consecrated” the new grill by smoking some brisket. I tried a recipe for a mustard-based rub that turned out not too bad. The meat was well liked, and we generally had a good day.

Day Job Happenings – I really want to believe I’m going to come through the upcoming RIF, but my leadership is keeping its plans close to the vest. It doesn’t help that my local leadership is expanding my team. Mixed signals there. We’re adding more people, but we don’t know if any of you will be cut. I would like to think my local leadership has been assured that us in field operations are “safe” and that’s why we’re getting new people foisted on us. One of the “new” people is someone I’ve known and worked with for fifteen years, so that was a good addition.

Upstairs Happenings – The great reshuffling of the upstairs continues as we work at decompressing The Wife’s office. This weekend’s adventure was putting together a new bookcase for the bedroom. Yes, it has a litter box in the bottom. Yes, we don’t have a lot of books on the bookcase.

The ladder bookcase is now in the loft/craft room. Instead of books, it is now festooned with The Wife’s Cricuts and our big printer. And The Wife’s collection of mouse ears from our sojourns to the Disney properties.

Bird Happenings – Yesterday at one of the bird feeders, we saw a cardinal among the doves. First time one of those red birds have shown up in our area. Unfortunately, it was just there for a bit, grabbed some seed and then flew away. We’re hoping it sticks around.

June Anime Recommendations

I’m doing a quartet of isekai’s this month.

This one is where the protagonist goes from extremely underpowered to extremely overpowered, but the progression is interesting to watch. I love how the world is built.

This one is another with a pretty decent story and good world building. The protagonist is sometimes cringey.

I really liked the how the protagonist solves problems in this one and the general earnestness.

This is one where the concept is intriguing, although sometimes it plays a bit fast and loose with its own “rules”.

Promise to the Magic Heart – Chapter 6

The Heroes of the Empire were an odd collection of people who were in disfavor when they first came together. Jevin is probably the best-known example – the last leader of the Crystal Guard who was cast out of society after he failed to stop the murder of the emperor and the kidnapping of the princess. I tend to favor Marteen the Scythe. One of the few who emerged from the Reclamation War with an honorable and feared reputation, who fell from those heights to being a lowly drunk, then disappeared for a decade, only to become a central figure in not only the band of Heroes, but the post-return Empire. This is why the story of the Heroes will endure. Not only its sheer drama, but also its theme of redemption. – Aleessa Torrik, in the foreword to her “Collections of Accounts of the Heroes of the Empire”

MARTEEN

Marteen twitched. Damn these clothes. They were tight and pinched in the oddest places. It didn’t help that his head was throbbing. Marteen didn’t even bother asking Kurt for some wine or ale to take the edge off. The dwarf absolutely refused to give him anything stronger than water. He briefly considered asking Rin, but quickly decided against it. Rin was just as bad as his father. Both were merciless when it came to Marteen’s pleas for mercy. It was like they enjoyed watching him suffer.

He staggered back to the small clearing where they set up camp for the night. Marteen’s eyes settled on Rin. He couldn’t believe how old Rin looked after only ten years. Marteen knew humans lived short lives, but he never thought of that happening to Rin. There was tension between Kurt and Rin. Marteen suspected it had something to do with why Rin left. Marteen understood why Rin needed to go. It was the same reason a much younger Marteen joined the Army of Reclamation. At least it looked like Rin’s adventures hadn’t ended in the same kind of horrific disaster. Marteen wasn’t sure if he was happy or angry about that.Rin tended a pot cooking over the fire. From the smell, it was a porridge of some kind. At least his friends were being conscientious of his guts if not his throbbing head. Rin handed Marteen a bowl before handing another to a frowning Kurt.

“Why didn’t you arrest Lord Valera?” Kurt asked, angrily. Oh, maybe the tension was from something else.

“For what? He wasn’t breaking any laws of the Republic,” Rin said, calmly. Marteen couldn’t believe his ears. His anger flared up as his head throbbing strengthened.

“He’s selling guns!” Marteen bellowed. “Everyone knows Valera is responsible for all the illegal guns coming into the Empire!”

“Do you have evidence we could take before a magistrate? Or perhaps a writ of attainder from this Lady Sonya for Valera’s removal?” Rin asked, with an infuriating calm. Marteen scowled at Rin, but the boy didn’t even flinch.

“I didn’t think so,” Rin said.

“Everyone knows Valera’s the source,” Marteen said. “Why are you being a sheep’s ass? We can go back and grab him. We’re Heroes of the Empire, for Light’s sake.” Rin fixed a cold gaze on Marteen before speaking.

“How well did that work for you, Marteen?” Rin asked.

“I was drunk last time. I’m not now.”

“No, you’re worse than drunk. You’re useless.” Marteen got to his feet and stormed towards the boy.

“Rin, you may be all grown up for a human, but I can still whip you,” Marteen said. Rin’s hand shot up and yanked Marteen off-balance. The elf hit the ground hard, but he rolled and sprang back up to his feet. Rin slapped Marteen across the face before Marteen could get into a fighting stance. Marteen fell back to the ground, his face stinging.

“Not right now, you can’t,” Rin said, “Right now, you’re that same drunk I found in that tavern when I was a boy.” Marteen’s head throbbed and his face still stung. Rin loomed over him. No, he really wasn’t in any shape to take on Rin.

“Fine, you win. This time.” Satisfied, Rin held his hand out for Marteen. The elf knocked the proffered hand away and stood up on his own. Maybe he wasn’t at his best, but that wasn’t any reason for Rin to rub it in.

“Even if we don’t have enough evidence or a writ, Valera’s activities need to be stopped,” Kurt said.

“Yes and no,” Rin said. Marteen and Kurt looked at him like he’d grown another head. “The Empire may want to curtail some of Valera’s more egregious activities, but if it were up to me, I’d keep him where he is.”

“Why, under the God of Iron’s gaze, would you suggest that?” Kurt asked.

“Because you’re thinking of him as a rebellious lord,” Rin answered, “He’s not betraying the Empire for some grand cause. Valera’s a black-market merchant who just happens to be a noble. He’s not about to endanger his profit by doing something stupid or allow someone else to endanger his profit by their stupidity. If you handle Valera properly, he can be a useful asset.”

“You know how to handle men like that?” Marteen asked, snidely. Rin was acting too much like Pallus with his lecturing. Marteen stopped thinking about that. The less he thought of Pallus, the less he thought of Sonya, and the less he felt the pain. That went doubly since Kurt wasn’t going to let him have anything stronger than water. Couldn’t he understand Marteen needed to do something about the pain?

“Not really my strong suit,” Rin answered.

“Oh, then what is your strong suit?” Marteen asked. Rin gave him a flat look. It was almost a mirror of Kurt’s when they thought Marteen was being an ass. Well, they were being asses. And his head hurt.

“I’m more used to dealing with demons and bandits than people like Valera,” Rin said. Demons? Why was Rin dealing with demons? There was only one answer that made sense. Marteen took a second look at Rin. Yes, working in the Badlands would explain the new hardness in the boy. Dear Goddess, why would Rin go there? Didn’t he remember everything that Marteen told him over the years when they were on Kurt’s farm?

“Who would know how to do what you’re suggesting?” Kurt asked, breaking Marteen’s train of thought.

“Maybe the constables in Lisandra? If not, talk to the rangers at the Mareian Embassy.”

“Do you know any of them?”

“Kurt, I’m not going to Lisandra. I’ve got a sorcerer to hunt down, and I wasted too much time dealing with Valera,” Rin said. Rage overtook Marteen at the callousness in Rin’s voice.

“Wasted too much time? You didn’t do anything. You should have arrested him. He’s selling guns to the Purists!” Marteen screamed at Rin. The human shook his head.

“You’re wrong about that, Marteen,” Rin said. “Valera is not selling guns to these Purists. The way he talks about them? He despises them as much as you.”

“No one hates them as much as I do,” Marteen shouted. Rin stared at Marteen for several long moments before turning to Kurt.

“Who are the Purists?”

“Traitors and murderers,” Marteen seethed.

“Not all of the people have been happy with events in the Empire since the princess returned,” Kurt said.

“Not happy? After what they’ve done, and you say not happy?” Marteen snarled. Kurt shot a warning look at Marteen before explaining further.

“The Pursits came to the Crystal Palace’s attention about eight years ago,” Kurt said, “At that time they were just circulating pamphlets decrying the state of the Empire. To the Purists, the downturn in the Empire’s fortunes since the Daemon War is due to the poisoned state of the Crystal Blood. If the Empire wants to regain its glory, the Blood must be purified. Preferably by killing the current descendants.”

“What?” Rin asked. Marteen saw the flash of outrage on Rin’s face. From how cool and composed the boy acted since leaving Valera’s, Marteen didn’t expect that. Rin quickly managed to return to his impassive look.

“I’m assuming there’s more to these Purists than just circulating wild theories. Even before I left there were dozens of crackpot groups. None of them cause us as much concern as you two are showing,” Rin said. Kurt and Marteen traded resigned looks.

“They didn’t concern us – at first. The Purists would harass Imperial officials, spread their pamphlets, and maybe some petty theft from Imperial buildings. About six years ago, they started attacking imperial holdings and minor nobles. The Frontier Army went out and managed to round up some of the small bands. We thought they were done. Then, a couple of years ago, they came back with a vengeance. From what we’ve managed to learn, someone called the Edess Kul rebuilt the Purists into a real army.”

“Let me guess. The Frontier Army had as much trouble finding them as they’ve had hunting down the dwarven independence groups,” Rin observed.

“Worse. Purist militias ambush the Frontier Army’s patrols,” Kurt said, “They’re using guns, which many of the patrols don’t have. They’ve done more damage to the Frontier Army than the dwarves have for the past fifty years.”

“So, what’s being done?” Rin asked.

“Marteen was sent out,” Kurt answered.

“Why did they send you?” Rin asked Marteen.

“Because they attacked Lock Keep and slaughtered everyone!” Marteen snarled. Rin was clearly confused. Marteen’s rage threatened to consume him. How could Rin not understand?

“Ela was at Lock Keep,” Kurt explained. Rin’s eyes went wide as his mouth dropped open in shock.

“Ela?” Rin asked. Marteen felt a small evil satisfaction that this broke through the boy’s composure. Rin held up his hand. “Wait, I thought Selene arranged for Ela to go to a hospital in Lisandra. What is this Lock Keep?”

“Ela’s mind sickness kept getting worse. She escaped from the hospital multiple times. She killed three people during her last attempt. At that point, we were forced to send her to Lock Keep. It’s where many of the mind sick from the Reclamation War were sent. They could deal with her.”

“For some Goddess-only-knows reason, the Purists attacked the Keep,” Marteen snarled.

“They killed everyone?” Rin asked, grappling with the news.

“Killed and burnt,” Marteen answered. Rin’s face was slack with shock.

“Ela’s dead?”

“What do you care?” Marteen snapped, “After what you did to her.” Marteen never saw the punch. All he knew was there were suddenly stars in his eyes, a pain across his jaw, and the cold ground on his back. Rin stood over Marteen with a dark look in his eyes.

“Damn it all, she was my sister too!” Rin screamed at the elf. Marteen saw the tears streaming down Rin’s face. “Ral’s betrayal broke her. None of us saw that – including me. I never blamed her for what she did. I didn’t want to hurt her like that. I was just protecting…” Rin paused, his jaw working.

“She was the one person on this whole damned continent I knew didn’t betray me.” Rin grabbed the front of Marteen’s shirt and glared into the elf’s eyes. “If you ever say that sheep dung to me again-” Rin was cut off as Marteen embraced him. Both men stood there for long minutes and quietly wept for the woman that had been their sister. Soon Kurt joined his son and his best friend in their grief.

Chapter Seven

Ward Manor Happenings – 06.12.25

Grill Happenings – Late last year, I got rid of my Weber grill because we were looking at upgrading, and someone said they might have a line on some good deals. There were good deals, but nothing that made me want to put more money down. Plus, I hadn’t been smoking much, so it didn’t seem to be worth laying out cash.

Well, now we have some events coming up where I have been asked to smoke some ribs and other meats. After discussion with The Wife, we ended up picking up essentially my old grill, but this one was built into a little cart with a folding table. After doing some comparisons, we bought it on Home Depot for delivery to Ward Manor.

Monday morning comes and Home Depot says they delivered to my house. Great, but the cameras didn’t pick up anyone delivering anything. I go check their tracking and look at the helpful pictures. It was not my house. It was not my subdivision. It wasn’t even close to my street number. Jump on customer service chat – because Derek hates talking on the phone. The chat associate was helpful to a point. They offered a refund, and I asked if they could refund and reorder. After alll, I still needed my grill. No problem. Except it was kind of like I got disconnected in the middle of the chat. Essentially, I had to restart the ticket again. Second associate joins the chat. Nope, refund not processed, reorder not placed. Hey, do you mind if I contact the warehouse and see if they can arrange for a redelivery? Sure. After all, I still need my grill. While the associate was talking with the warehouse, they must have realized their mistake because, magically, my order appeared on my driveway.

Tuesday night, The Wife, MIL, and I put the grill together. It wasn’t as bad as some of the assemblies we’ve done, but still not the most helpful. I also sacrificed to the Assembly Gods when tightening a nut, and the drill spun the little piece of metal. A nice little chunk of my thumb was removed near the knuckle. It was one of those, “oh I guess it wasn’t that bad” until The Wife mentioned I was bleeding. Then the pain hit. Not enough to go to urgent care, but enough to be annoying. And bloody.

But I have a functioning grill that will get consecrated this weekend for Father’s Day.