CategoryFamily

Another Reason I Love My Wife

I need a new holster. I told her that I would take the funds out of my “Derek Stuff Fund”. At which point, she made a strenuous argument that it should come out of our shared clothing budget because it was a necessity. I’ll admit I didn’t argue the point as strenuously as she did.

Anyways, I have a new Bravo Concealment holster coming.

Same Word, Different Meanings

I talk to my grandma once a week. On our last conversation, she informed me her church was having a crusade.

Me: “What do you mean by crusade?”

Grandma: “Don’t you know what a crusade is?”

Me: “I know what it means in a historical sense, but I doubt a bunch of Oklahoma Baptists are about to invade the Levant on Sunday night.”

She thought that was highly amusing.

Also, a crusade is a fancy name for a revival.

Quick Trip

At the end of last week, The Wife and I flew out to Oklahoma City to visit some of my family. Mostly, I wanted her to get a chance to meet my grandmother. Grandma is 92 and in the very early stages of dementia. I’m not sure how many good years (months) Grandma will have, and I didn’t want to wait.

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  • You know how important this was because I was willing to fly out. I hate flying. Not the actual flying, but I hate TSA and I hate not having my normal set of toys. The former proved itself at the start, because whomever is in charge of Tampa’s TSA agents implemented a customer service initiative they must have borrowed from HK. Just without the basic quality to offset the arrogance.Another lesson learned on this particular trip is never rent a car from Hertz. Especially if all you have is a debit card. Also, the rep’s customer service skills were just slightly above Tampa TSA. Enterprise was more than willing to rent us a vehicle with a debit card and a deposit.
  • The Wife loved the Tucson. I have a feeling that when we get her vehicle paid off, one of those SUVs might end up in our driveway. Plus, CarPlay makes things so much easier.

    Friday, we went to Bombing Memorial. It was quite emotional. If you’re in the OKC area, take a few hours and go. The museum is excellent, and the memorial itself evokes a stark harshness of the event with a dollop of hope. Some events move you by showing the worst and the best in humanity.

    Saturday, I did something I hadn’t done for two decades – I played some Magic: The Gathering. My young nineteen-year-old cousin has become involved in the cardboard crack. I got beat down, but it was fun. My family also got to see me in my kilt, which they enjoyed. Overall, it was a good visit.

    The trip home was uneventful except for TSA needing to pat me down for some reason. Although the OKC folks were much more respectful than Tampa. Feck it. Next time I have to fly, I’m wearing my kilt, and let them deal with that.

    Comments on John Wick

    The Wife and I saw all three John Wick movies last weekend. We had to fast forward through the puppy death in the first one, because The Wife wouldn’t be able to watch the rest of the film otherwise. We enjoyed them, but they are violent – particularly the third.

    So, this comment from The Wife kicked over my giggle box:

    We watched all three of those movies, but they were so ‘roided up, it was like watching six shoot ‘em ups.

    Reasons I Love My Wife

    The Wife has stated on multiple occasions that she hates competing against me at Toastmasters. At our last meeting, the club president ambushed – I mean, asked – if The Wife and I would be evaluators for the two speakers. She agreed without realizing we would be competing against each other. So, you can imagine how pleased she was when she won Best Evaluator.

    And how did my blushing bride of less than a month express her glee? By turning to me, brandishing her ribbon, and in front of the club, declared ”Suck It!”

    It was fucking hilarious! I love my wife.

    Strange New Worlds

    Since The Wife has come into my life, I have not only gone out to shop for various items (as opposed to purchasing online), but I have regularly trekked into places I wasn’t even sure what they sold.

    Places I have been to more in the last eighteen months than in the previous forty years:

    1. TJ Maxx
    2. Hobby Lobby
    3. Ross
    4. Marshall’s
    5. Home Goods

    I’m sure there’s a pattern.

    Marriage Civilizes Man

    I’m mostly commenting on the fact that a simple request from The Wife kept me from verbally taking apart the partisan witch collecting signatures to put an assault weapons ban on the next ballot.

    That woman (the partisan hack, not The Wife) somehow in three sentences spoke more errors than she had words.

    One hopes for a repeat meeting sans civilizing influence.

    Wedding AAR

    In case you didn’t hear, I got myself hitched over the weekend. We did it here, and were one of the last who could do the ceremony and the reception at the park. For a pair that love old Florida, this was a wonderful place to celebrate our marriage.

    The Wedding Ceremony & Reception – Or Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance

    The venue had a bunch of restrictions about decorations and time available. We had to do a lot of pre-planning, pre-work, and contingency planning. I will admit, The Wife did some amazing work and coordination. We were able to set up everything fast, and had time/planning for when the rain started.

    Fortunately, the rain was just for a little bit before the ceremony, and the rest of the day was gorgeous. As I told folks, it was just enough rain to knock the pollen down.

    The ceremony went off without a hitch. The Wife suggested we write our own vows since we were doing a secular service. After hearing me speak at Toastmasters for the first time, the suggestion became a requirement. Since we didn’t have a videographer, I decided to include our vows for posterity. It’s my blog after all.

    The Wife

    Derek- It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and suddenly, you can’t remember how you ever lived without them.

    I wish I could stand up here and promise you the world, but the world isn’t mine to give. What I do promise is my world, and all it entails. My love, support, passion, compassion, and enthusiasm.

    I wish I could promise you smooth sailing, but just like hurricanes, & as much as I’d like to be able to, the winds aren’t mine to control. What I do promise is a ship built to carry you to safety, and sails to weather any storm.

    I wish I could promise you forever, but unfortunately, no one has figured out immortality yet. What I do promise is every second of this sliver of eternity I’ve been blessed with.

    I wish I could promise you riches, but every vault has its end. What I do promise you is a life of abundance—An abundance of love and support, of strength and vulnerability, of sharing and drive, of passion, and of adventure– oh, and cats. I promise you an abundance of cats

    I can’t even promise I’ll never hurt you, because even the best of intentions sometimes fall short. What I do promise is to always reach for you over my pride; to hold you, to heal you, and to seek forgiveness.

    Derek, You are the Han to my Leia . . . the Wash to my Zoë . . . the Rick Hunter to my Lisa Hayes It’s said that marriage is like getting to have a sleepover with your best friend, every single night of the week. So let’s get this over with and start our forever sleepover.

    Me

    Vow. A sacred promise. Inviolable. Immutable. Lasting until the end of time and space. Not to be undertaken lightly or without deep consideration for what is being asked and offered. These are my vows to you.

    First, a Vow to love you. Unconditionally. Eternally. Without hesitation. Further, to demonstrate my love to you in both big and small ways.

    Second, a Vow to walk the path of our lives with you. Sometimes in front, to be your shield. Sometimes behind, to be your cheerleader and to catch you if you stumble. Sometimes right at your side, to be your comforter and confidant.

    Third to be your partner in all things. To make your goals my goals. To make your dreams my dreams. To take your counsel when you give it and give you my best counsel when we are facing a decision.

    Vows are sworn on what is most precious. So, to borrow the famous phrase, I swear this on my life, my fortune, and my sacred honor.

    I’ll admit she surprised me with the sci-fi geekery bit. Especially the Robotech part. The Brother helped her with that. (And was also responsible for a veritech included in the decorations around the cupcakes). We decided on cupcakes instead of a traditional cake for both ease of production and transport. The Wife and her mother made almost a hundred gorgeous cupcakes for the reception.

    One little thing that was a big hit was a picture frame The Wife picked up at Goodwill and painted. People used it as a prop for all sorts of photos. I can’t wait to see them all.

    We ran ahead of schedule, and the reception broke up organically without us having to kick anyone out. Which was a relief to me. Also a bonus, the venue’s organizer loved our table decorations, so we donated most of them to the park so they can use them for future events. We got home a bit earlier than planned, which allowed us to head up to St. Augustine earlier than planned.

    Honeymoon

    We both love history and St. Augustine is just a four hour drive north. Waze ended up taking us through a lot of back roads due to I-4 being a mess around the Orlando Megaplex. We stayed in an AirBnB that was within walking distance of pretty much all of the historic district. The location was perfect for our needs. The room, while lovely, cured any temptation for trying the “tiny house” lifestyle. Also, accessing the room meant going through a gate with a low trellis covered in greenery. And by low, I mean walking through the gate to our room, I had to crouch like I was running up to the choppers at the beginning of MASH.

    Small SNAFU – we watched the weather for the wedding relentlessly for the week leading up to the ceremony. Forgot to do so for St. Augustine, and apparently a cold front was coming through when we came up.

    We saw a lot, shopped a lot, and walked a lot. Which was good, because we ate a lot. This was a bye week for me where I still record my calories, but I don’t worry if I’m over. Even way over. I’m really glad I went below my goal weight before the wedding. We’re both on strict diets to get back down to goals.

    Well, That Happened

    No, Derek Really Likes Civ

    The Brother and a couple of mutual friends were talking, and the conversation drifted to video games. The three of them discussed how much time you could put into a game to be considered “hard-core” playing. After bantering it back and forth, the figure of 200 hours in a game was offered up by one of the friends. Since this conversation was via the Internet, decided to pull up my statistics for hours on Civ from Steam.

    “Yeah, Derek’s got about 1,600 hours on Civ 5 and about 1,300 on Civ 6.”

    Yes, I really like Civ. It is one of five video games I play and the only one I play on the computer. One of the requirements when I built my current computer was if it would handle Civ 5, which at the time was the new hotness.

    Before the Wife To Be came into my life, it wasn’t unusual for Saturdays to consist of me playing Civ with my iPad streaming Netflix for oh, twelve hours or so. Now it’s down to two and three block intervals with podcasts.

    Oh well, she’s worth it.

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