When one of the players is required to lick a 9 volt battery to get an idea of the “feel” of a magic item.
It’s even more fun when it’s your eight year old nephew.
And more fun ensues when his six year old sister demands to also lick the battery.
Category: Family
Reasons I Love My Niece #4126
It’s my niece’s sixth birthday and she got an iPod (actually an old iPhone 3GS). Shortly after presents are done, my niece comes up to me and asks for me to put on the “gun game.”
We’re Probably Going To Have More Comments Like This
We’re starting my nephew on his first RPG campaign. He developed the world with his other uncle and made his character. The world is very dragon-heavy, because that’s what my nephew likes. So, of course, he wants a dragon of his own. And this conversation rolls out:
Nephew: I want to find a dragon egg, hatch it, and raise the dragon as my own.
Uncle: That’s understandable, but you know that once the dragon reaches juvenile age, it’s going to become sentient. It’s going to be a person. You can’t buy and sell people.
Nephew: What about orphanages?
Uncle (holding back laughter): Let me explain administrative costs.
Pacific Rim and Pre-Show Amusement
My brother and I went to see Pacific Rim last Friday. It was predictable and trope-ridden, but it was also AWESOME! The fight scenes between the robots and monsters were amazing. They even managed to keep the Braveheart speeches to a minimum.
Because we went to the Cinebistro, which does seat side dinner service, my brother and I had to be there when the ads started.
Brother: Why do they have to have such boring ads at the beginning?
Ads: Next we take a look at the new ABC show, “Agents of SHIELD.”
Brother: I accept your advertisement.
Things That Were Far More Funny Than It Should Be
This hair, this hair has seen some shit.
The Brother, holding out a gray whisker from his beard. Stand alone, it’s funny. After a day of hard labor, it was fucking hilarious. This is about as close as I get to understanding what people find funny when they’re drunk.
Quote of the Day – My Nephew
Cthulhu wouldn’t take your sins away. He’d just give you more.
We had one of The Talks with my nephew. Specifically, the one about the fact that his uncles don’t believe in God.
This happened because I was wearing my Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster shirt, and my nephew asked what it meant by “He Boiled For Your Sins.” His mother and I explained parody and I wore the shirt because I didn’t believe in God.
“Then how can you and mama be friends?” That turned into an explanation that people with different beliefs can still be friends. Moreover, it was good to experience different cultures and belief systems in order to find the one that matches what he thought was important. It was during this part when my nephew said the above quote.
More Talks on this subject will have to occur, but at least he is aware that not everyone believes in the same God, or even God at all.
Still, it’s kind of how even in a serious conversation with this eight-year-old, Cthulhu comes up. Granted, part of that is because of FSM. Still….
Lunch Coversation
Me: We need to get a 3D printer!
Brother: Why?
Me: So I can print my own handgun!
Brother (resigned tone): I thought that’s where this was going.
Things Heard At the Cub Scout Meeting
“Don’t lick the paper plates or you’ll ruin the science.”
My nephew’s scouting den went over the scientific method and did an experiment testing the fluidity of ketchup, tartar sauce, and honey.
At least this was better than when they did astronomy. I almost popped a brain vessel as they explained celestial bodies and mechanics.
Explaining Steampunk to my Mom
The pithy comment comes from my brother:
“Steampunk – when goths discovered the color brown!”
Don’t know where he got that from, but it made the table erupt in laughter.
Scenes at the bagel shop
Sister-in-law (in response to a comment from me): Well, you know it takes a village…
The Brother: To raze a village.
Me: “Do the village, do the whole damn village!”
The Brother: You know, that phrase comes up in our conversations way more than it probably should.
And this is considered a normal morning in our family.