New Pocketknife

So, I picked up a new pocketknife, mostly because:

A) I got a raise and B) I like spending money on sharp pointy things made of metal

So I picked up a CRKT 6803Z. I’d been carrying a CRKT M16Z for almost a year. I was surprised how much heftier the new one is.



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So, I’m showing my new knife to The Brother.

The Brother (looking at the blade): Huh, Cricket?

Me: CRKT.

The Brother: Like I said, Cricket.

Me: This is going up on the blog.

I Don’t Care About the Truth, Let Me Tell My Damn Story!

So this summer one of my friends gave me this:

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So now I have a fake land mine to play with. There was real temptation to put it out front when the lawn guy showed up. Or when the Jehovah’s Witnesses are running around the neighborhood.

Now, I remember getting the mine as such:

My brother and I are at his house awaiting our friend so we could go see Dark Knight Rising. Friend comes in and holds up fake mine.

Me: “Cool, a land mine.”

Brother: “I don’t know what is more disturbing, that (Friend) has a land mine or that my brother knows what it is.”

My brother has since informed me that me recollection of the event was faulty. I don’t give a damn. My story is better, and that’s all that counts. Maybe. I think. Damn.

Why I Love My Niece, Part 1

So we took my niece for Indian. More appropriately, we took her Mom for Indian because it was her birthday. After being seated, my niece grabs the laminated single sheet, thinking it’s the children’s menu.

Niece: “Uncle Fish, what’s this?”

Me (After perusing the sheet): “It’s the drinks menu.”

Niece (Looking confused): “Where’s the eats menu?”

I couldn’t answer her question due to uncontainable laughter.

Friday Quote – Penn Jillette

Atheism is a religion like bald is a hair color

Penn Jillette

I don’t know if this is an original quote from Penn, or just a pithy comment for atheists. Either way, I liked it when I heard Penn say it on his latest Sunday School podcast. Atheism is not a different kind of faith, but is the absence of faith. Faith is believing that the universe works because that’s the way a deity or deities decided. Atheism says the universe works because of specified principles that we can prove through experimentation. Faith says that the future can be divined through cryptic prophecies that are often retrofitted after the events occur. Science actually predicts the existence of phenomena from the sub-atomic to the galactic in size and scope.

Like many atheists, I do not deny that there may be a God(s). I don’t know if there is a deity or not. All I know is that I don’t have any good, reliable, repeatable evidence for the existence of a deity. And that is one of the reasons that I am an atheist.

Signs my Nephew Might Become an Evil Overlord – Episode 2

While I am helping my niece with her homework (a 4-year-old with homework, lot has changed since my toddler days), my nephew is busy playing the Skylanders video game on the X-Box.

Nephew: Uncle Fish, how do you spell “death”?

Me: Just like you have it one the screen, except add an ‘A’ after the ‘E’.

Nephew: Thanks, I’m renaming my Skylander “Death Blade”

Me: Oookay….

From an almost seven-year-old, it’s kind of weird watching him run around what is essentially a kids game with his Skylander “Death Blade”.

It doesn’t help that I’m reading On Killing by Col. Grossman.

As to why he calls me Uncle Fish, that’s a whole ‘nother blog post.

Signs my nephew may become an evil overlord

Since my nephew and niece were born, their parents and my group of friends have joked that one will become an evil overlord while the other will be the savior of humanity. This is probably due to the immense amount of fantasy we all read, but sometimes possible hints slip out. Or it could be because he’s almost seven.

Scene: Nephew and I are returning from a scout activity

Me: Let us go forth…..

Nephew: To a date with death!

It’s one of those times I’m not sure whether to be proud, terrified, or both.