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Family Dinner Time

My rocket scientist brother and his family moved across the state about eighteen months ago. The sister-in-law and the kiddos were over last weekend. My nephew was telling us about the campaign is running for his new friends. He was explaining how he was using a spider lycanthrope to lure his players into a spooky trap. I turned to The Brother.

Me: I think we did too good of a job.

Monday Fiction – Zombie Strike – Part One – Chapter Five

Base Camp, Southern Beach of Target Island, 200 Miles West of Hawaii, 1000 hours Local, 25 July 2009, Countdown: 2 years, 5 months, 6 days

Quentin McLintock’s head snapped around to the crack of Sissy’s rifle. Quentin was only a second behind Jack as the two ran to Sissy and Collin. Quentin felt the expected rush as his legs pumped with the familiar rhythm. More than one unwary quarterback had been surprised by the huge man’s speed. Quentin easily overtook Jack. With his new warhammer in hand, Quentin crouched next to the lady sniper. Sissy and Collin were searching the darkened tree line of the jungle with their weapons. Quentin couldn’t see anything that looked like a zombie. Truthfully, Quentin couldn’t see much of anything besides the tall trees covered with leafy green vegetation.

"Collin, what’s going on?" Mateo asked over the team’s radio net.

"Sissy engaged a possible threat," Collin reported in a flat voice.

"Zombies this close?" Mateo asked, clearly surprised at the prospect.

"Not likely," Collin said, "Sissy reported something that moved rapidly. I’m thinking one of indigenous threats."

"I’m telling you it looked humanoid," Sissy protested to Collin. Over the radio net, Sissy reported, "I don’t know what it was, but it was standing on two legs and moved like lightning." Quentin looked over at Sissy. Her normal cool voice was shaking. She was breathing hard. What could have spooked her? She was normally unshakable.

"Sissy, I want you to hold where you are. The Steve and I will be joining you," Mateo said, "Collin, take Jack and Quentin and investigate." Collin clicked his throat mike twice in acknowledgement. He motioned for Jack and Quentin to follow as he slid through the tall grass. Quentin tried to mimic Collin’s movement, but he just couldn’t move as quietly as the smaller man. It was like trying to follow a shadow.

Collin neared the area where Sissy said the target was, about ten yards into the tree line. The heavy jungle canopy filtered the sunlight. It gave the area an odd coloration. Shadows loomed in odd spots all around the three men. Unfamiliar sounds and scents came from every direction. It was completely different from the forests of Alabama. Quentin decided he did not like the jungle. He suddenly felt very close to his uncle who told harrowing stories of Vietnam. Collin’s call broke into Quentin’s thoughts.

"Over here," Collin said in a low voice. Jack and Quentin crept over to Collin. The familiar smell of zombie hit Quentin before he saw it. At the commando’s feet was a hunk of rotted flesh. One side was shredded, most likely from a fragmenting .338 round. Collin looked up at the two, and gave a quick smirk.

"I think Sissy did manage to hit something," Quentin said.

"Too right," Collin said, "So what is that bloody thing?" Maybe two feet from the hunk was a broken piece of stone. Quentin bent down and picked up the stone fragment. Hints of memory were tickling his mind.

"What’s the matter mate?" Jack asked, his voice growling. Quentin glanced up at Jack. The Aussie was definitely in one of his bad moods. Jack was almost vibrating with impatience.

"The carving on this stone. It looks like something from the Mesoamerican period," Quentin answered. Quentin was so intently studying the stone in his hand he didn’t notice Collin and Jack staring at him in amazement. "I’m guessing this might have come from the Aztec Empire. The craftsmanship says late fourteenth-century, common era."

"How in God’s name –" Jack started to ask. The sudden loud moans caught all three by surprise. Five zombies stumbled out of a patch of shadow, maybe ten feet from the group. All five zombies were intent on the three humans. They shambled forward with all the speed their decomposing bodies could muster. Collin brought up his MP5/10 just in time to bust open one’s head with a burst. Jack drew his two hi-Powers up and wildly blazed away. Quentin swore as he watched the bullets punch uselessly into the zombies’ torsos. With one hand, Quentin grabbed Jack’s shoulder and slammed the smaller man to the ground. Jack was almost useless when he was in one of his bad moods. Quentin whipped his warhammer at the nearest zombie. The lighter weapon wouldn’t decapitate like his old sledge, but it cracked the zombie’s head open just fine. Quentin swung outward and caught a second zombie. The warhammer was also a heck of a lot faster than the sledge. In these close-quarters, speed was life. Quentin brought the hammer around, but the last two were already down. Collin stood over his two kills, changing magazines in his sub-machine gun.

"Fall back," Collin hissed as he searched the shadows for any other surprises. Jack started to argue, but it died with one look at Collin’s face. Quentin tucked the stone carving in his pocket before turning to sprint out of the jungle. He took two steps before something grabbed his leg. Quentin stumbled, but years of playing football kept him from falling. He swung the warhammer down at whatever grabbed him. A blur of motion shot into the air, missing the low branches by scant inches. As it fell out of the air at him, Quentin caught the form in the side with a swing that would have made Jackie Robinson proud. The creature screamed as the force of Quentin’s blow slammed it into a tree. Quentin’s eyes went wide as it quickly picked itself off the jungle floor.

The decaying and putrid flesh hanging off the small, wiry frame was like a zombie. The quick, jerky movements as it stood upright was completely unlike any undead Quentin fought before. The humanoid thing’s dark skin was covered with strange symbols done in blue and white body paint. Quentin ignored the familiar tickle of remembrance as the thing hurtled itself at him. Quentin sidestepped a moment too slow. There was a burning pain as the thing’s claws raked his hip. It slid past Quentin and dove at him again. Quentin slammed the ball of the hammer’s pommel squarely into the creature’s broad nose. It fell back a few feet and then reached out again like it didn’t even feel the blow. Realization lit in Quentin’s mind. It wasn’t attacking him. It was trying to get at the stone! Quentin stepped forward, exposing the pocket where he tucked the stone. As the thing’s arms reached out, Quentin struck its hip with a powerful blow. As it tried to scamper up from the ground, Quentin whirled the hammer in his hand. The sharp hook of the metal beak easily punched through the thing’s skull. It jerked once and then went limp. Quentin searched around as he fought to catch his breath. He didn’t want another of those things sneaking up on him. Quentin’s body felt like the fight lasted an hour, but experience told him only a couple of minutes elapsed. Collin came out of nowhere and tugged at the Quentin’s sleeve.

"What are you doing? Get out of here!" Collin snapped.

"We need to grab –" Quentin started, but stopped as he watched the creature dissolve down to a dirty skeleton. Without any of the connective tissue to hold them together, the bones collapsed to the jungle floor. Quentin was too shocked to say anything else as Collin pulled him out of the jungle.

Collin, Jack, and Quentin ran back to where Sissy was crouched in the grass with The Steve and Mateo. The Steve took one look at Quentin’s hip and went to work. Medical supplies appeared in the medic’s hand as he expertly cut away the fabric. The Steve paused for a split second as he examined the wound. Quentin’s hip blossomed with pain as The Steven slapped on some sort of clear gel. The medic quickly covered the wound with a pad.

"What got you?" The Steve asked, completely devoid of his characteristic good humor, "It didn’t look like a bite." Quentin shook his head.

"That thing scratched me," Quentin answered, "I don’t know what it was, but I think it was what Sissy took a shot at." There was an odd relief in the medic’s eyes, and the familiar smile spread across his face. Before Quentin could say anything, The Steve holstered a small pistol. Quentin realized if it had been a bite, the Steve would’ve been the one to put him down before he changed. It was disturbing and comforting at the same time.

Collin and Sissy kept watch over the jungle as the others went back to erecting the pre-fab fortifications. It was hard physical labor, but it let Quentin think about the creature and the stone. Why did the creature want the stone so badly? His thoughts were interrupted as Mateo stopped them at mid-afternoon to rest.

"Quentin, would you come over here?" Mateo asked. Quentin wondered what was going on as he walked over to Mateo. The team leader pointed at his laptop. A slightly distorted picture of the creature was displayed.

"How did you get that?" Quentin blurted out.

"M&W sent us some new advanced video camera. I recorded the whole encounter for debrief," Mateo answered, "Do you know what that thing was?"

"No, but it was after this," Quentin said, holding up the stone carving, "And no, I don’t know why."

"Jack said you knew what that stone is," Mateo said.

"Actually, I have no clue," Quentin said, "I recognize some of the markings. I’ve never encountered an artifact like this before."

"Then, Mr. McLintock, Masters in Anthropology, I think it’s time for you to call in some lifelines," Mateo said, "Shake whatever trees you need to find out what that is. I have a feeling we’re about to walk into the meat grinder."

Zombie Strike Part One Chapter Six

Random Thoughts Part 735

We picked up some Mountain Dew Zero. I like it, at least as much as Diet Mountain Dew. Even better, this is a zero calorie as compared to Diet Dew’s low calorie. But Derek, Diet Dew is only 5 calories per 20 oz. Yeah, but with the quantities I drink on a regular basis, that adds up quick. DON’T JUDGE ME.

I’ve finished listening to the new book The End Is Always Near by Dan Carlin (of Hardcore History fame). How to describe it?

  • Never listened to Hardcore History: How are we still alive?
  • Listens to episodes once, when they come out: How are we still alive?
  • Listens to episodes repeatedly: Oh, this again?

I still recommend his Hardcore History podcast.

Even after being together for better than two-and-a-half years, and being married for almost a year, it still amazes me how loud my wife’s family gets, and how quickly the volume ramps up. For them, that’s normal. For my family, that volume level is akin to a cobra showing its hood. One last ditch attempt to scare off someone before violence happens.

After almost two decades, I now have a subscription to the local paper. Sunday only. Mostly, it was coupons. Part of it is I’m leaning more to paying for content.

Unpossible!

A felon gets a visit from the local deputies over threatening statements. Then, he told them something interesting.

The man showed deputies hazardous materials in a self-proclaimed powder room.

Hazmat and the bomb squad collected suspicious chemicals, many of which were precursors for making explosives. About 2-3 pounds of homemade TATP, a highly sensitive organic peroxide explosive, was also found. The TATP was safely detonated at an east Manatee County gun range that night.

Please tell me how all the laws surrounding felons from procuring explosives were effective.

Monday Fiction – Zombie Strike – Part One – Chapter Four

Fifty Miles Off of Target Island, 200 Miles West of Hawaii, 1830 hours Local, 24 July 2009, Countdown: 2 years, 5 months, 1 week

Sissy O’Connell watched the gorgeous Pacific sunset from the stern of the converted cargo ship. She regretted leaving her long blonde hair down and loose. The downwash from the helicopters kept sweeping it into her eyes. Still, the view was worth the hassle. The orange sun melted into the blue waters highlighted by a sky lit with reds and purples. It was more beautiful than any of the paintings Sissy adored. She watched with constant fascination as the sun slowly dropped under the horizon, and then a bit longer until the natural light was replaced by the blazing white of the lights on the flight deck. The time gave Sissy a chance to get herself centered.

Sissy left the flight deck and made her way down to her team’s rooms. They were two levels below the flight deck and separated from the ship’s crew and M&W’s security people. Sissy was still amazed an insurance company owned and operated its own helicarrier. Mr. Brown, the bespectacled liaison from M&W, mentioned something about the ship being a prototype for the British Navy to convert cargo ships to Harrier carriers during the height of the Cold War. Considering Sissy had been five years old when the Iron Curtain fell, that historical fact meant absolutely nothing to her. What did matter to her was that the technological improvements M&W put into their private warship meant the vessel didn’t need much in the way of crew, and gave the team an inordinate amount of privacy. Sissy was relieved as she finally descended into the empty corridor. She was getting tired of the stares from the sailors.

Her room was the first on the left from the – ladder? Stairs? Ships were so bizarre. Opposite of her room, Sissy heard a pitiful moan from Quentin’s cabin. The former rough and tumble football player was laid low by seasickness. Dramamine didn’t do a thing for Quentin, and the team medic wouldn’t give him anything stronger. Sissy admired Quentin’s grit as he joined the team for exercise and weapons training every morning – even when he looked like death warmed over. Sissy decided to check back on Quentin after she was done with her other teammates. He needed the most attention at the moment.

"Hey Matt," Sissy said, gently rapping on the open door, "Everything going okay?" Mateo spun in his chair. He clenched the papers in his hand in a death grip as he looked at Sissy. His eyes darted all over his room.

"Um, yeah. I’m just – I’m just getting the final bit of the planning finished," Mateo half-stammered. His twitching shoulders telegraphed his unease. Sissy stifled the sigh before it escaped her lips. During exercises, Mateo was completely different. He was never uneasy or had any trouble speaking to her. The times when the team wasn’t training, like now, he just looked like he was trying to escape from her. She didn’t know what it was about her that made Mateo so uncomfortable, but she figured she’d try one more time tonight to pull him out.

"Okay," Sissy said warmly, "Don’t stay up too late. Early morning. Could be a long day."

"Uh, yeah," Mateo said, staring at the papers in his hand, "Thanks." She grimaced as Mateo whirled back to his work.

"Don’t worry too much about him," whispered a voice behind her. Sissy jumped in surprise, and then whirled on a smiling Steve "The Steve" Mountain. How did he always manage to do that? Frustrated and angry, she punched the smiling medic in the chest.

"Idiot."

"Relax chica," The Steve said, ignoring the punch and the insult with his characteristic smile, "The Steve understands the boss man. The Steve sees the signs. Let The Steve handle this." Sissy looked into The Steve’s brown eyes. There was a steady dedication behind the normally laughing eyes. The Steve may be a bit touched in the head, but he was dedicated to healing the physical and emotional wounds of his teammates.

"Well I guess I better check on Collin and Jack then," Sissy said.

"Don’t bother," The Steve said, "Collin racked out fast. That whole grab-sleep-when-you-can thing. Jack’s in one of his bad moods, so The Steve locked him in his cabin until the morning brief." Sissy nodded in tired resignation. She didn’t even want to contemplate Jack walking around the ship in one of his dark moods. Someone was bound to wind up hurt – or dead.

"Listen, get some rack time. You’re worrying too much," The Steve said with as much sincerity as the medic could muster. Sissy turned back to her room as The Steve went to his own room. She changed out of her fatigues into a comfortably over-large T-shirt and pajama bottoms. Sissy looked at herself in the small mirror of the room. She finally admitted it. She was terrified. She couldn’t hide from it anymore by taking care of the others. Sissy was scared. Scared that she would die, or she would make a mistake and one of her teammates would die. They reminded her so much of her brothers.

No, she admitted to herself, her fear wasn’t that simple. She knew where her fear came from, but she just couldn’t face it. Sissy snatched Frederick off the bed. The stuffed toy monkey usually chased away the fear. Not this time. As she clutched at Frederick, her eyes fell on the long black case. Her rifle case. Her father’s deep, warm voice filled her ears and heart. Don’t worry Little Bit, everything’s going to be all right. The fear was finally banished for the night. Sissy gently placed Frederick back on the bed. She put on her slippers. Quentin still needed some looking after before the morning meeting.

####Fifty Miles Off of Target Island, 200 Miles West of Hawaii, 0630 hours Local, 24 July 2009, Countdown: 2 years, 5 months, 6 days

Sissy watched the water as the helicopter sped towards the target. The island didn’t even have a name, just a long alphanumeric designation Sissy couldn’t remember. The mission was simple. Land and disembark, set up base camp, and then eradicate every zombie on the island. She smiled as she remembered Mateo’s words from the morning meeting.

"Now we all know the saying’s easy. The doing’s going to be a mite bit harder," Mateo told the group. Sissy didn’t know where that southern accent came from, but it relieved a little of the tension of the team. Sissy closed her eyes and tried to keep calm as the helicopter neared the island.

The distinct buzzsaw sound of miniguns signaled the descent to the island. Two escort gunship helicopters provided a distraction to cover the team’s insertion. Zombies were attracted by loud sounds, and the sound of two helicopters spraying thousands of 7.62mm NATO into the jungle was a very loud sound. Hopefully, it was loud enough to cover the sound of a single helicopter dropping off six people.

The helicopter made an easy descent. Sissy barely noticed the helicopter touching the grassy ground. Collin and The Steve were the first off. The two former military men jumped out of the helicopter with an easy grace. They were already thirty feet from the helicopter with their weapons up and searching before Sissy and Jack were ushered off by the hurried crew chief. Sissy hit the deceptively hard ground, barely remembering to move away from the helicopter. She moved as fast as she could while crouched, keeping the little H&K MP7 submachine gun braced. The roar of the helicopter’s engine meant Mateo and Quentin were off as well. She felt the intense downwash as the helicopter lifted back into the sky.

"Okay team, huddle up," Mateo said. Mateo held a green plastic device, about the size of a hardcover book. A large screen dominated the top of the device. A map of the island appeared. Their current position on the south end of the island was designated as "Landing Zone One." The island was roughly circular and was maybe a mile at its widest point. There was a dense jungle in the center of the island with a band of tall grasslands and smaller sprouts of jungle between the center and the beaches.

"Latest intel has most of the zombies still on the north end of the island," Mateo said, pointing to the grassy area with a small growth of jungle, "Numbers still estimated at a few hundred."

"Do you believe that?" Jack asked, sarcastically.

"I’m willing to use that as the low figure," Mateo answered. He took a moment to look at the time display on the device. "We’ve got about nine hours of daylight. Collin, I want you and Sissy to clear the immediate area while the rest of us set up base camp." Jack scowled and Quentin made a playful groan as the two walked over to the large metal boxes dropped off the helicopter with them. The Steve smiled as he strode behind the two.

"Well lass, let’s get this done," Collin said, hefting his MP5/10. Sissy folded up and holstered the MP7 and removed her beloved "Danny-Boy" from its protective bag. Sissy worked the bolt and felt the welcome sound of the .338 Lapua round feeding into the chamber. The two strode away from the others. For Sissy, the stride was a familiar hunting walk. The two quietly walked about fifty yards from where the others were erecting the base camp. The edge of the jungle was another hundred yards off. Strange sounds emanated from the darkened forest that stirred up the terror from the previous night. Sissy gripped her rifle closer.

There was a blur of motion from the jungle. She spun to bring the rifle at the dark shape. It was indistinct, but humanoid. The scope did nothing to resolve the form as she brought her rifle to her shoulder in a single fluid motion. Sissy took a quick breath and let it out as she gently squeezed the trigger.

Zombie Strike Part One Chapter Five

Friday Quote – Fred Rogers

Love doesn’t mean a state of perfect caring. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now – and to go on caring through the joyful times and through the times that may bring us pain.

My Email To My House Rep

Representative Gregory,

I am concerned about the rash of gun control legislation introduced this year and working its way through the legislature. Most of these bills are designed to make it harder for the citizens to purchase, own, carry, and use the firearms they have decided best suit their needs. These needs include hunting, recreation, and perhaps the most important of all, protection of themselves and their loved ones. As a member of the judiciary committee, I urge you to help stop these bills.

HB 117 – Mental Health Evaluation to Carry – This creates an undue financial and time burden on those who can least afford it. Moreover, these are the people who are often in most need of licenses to carry concealed.

HB 245 – Child Care Facilities to Become Gun Free Zones – If we have learned anything over the past decade, it’s that gun free zones do not prevent guns from coming in. Only who will be possessing the guns.
Expanding what facilities are required to be “gun free” will not expand safety, but only expand the number of people left defenseless.

HB 289 – Background Checks to Buy Ammunition – This also creates an undue burden on those who can least afford it, and those who are often in need of purchasing ammunition. Further, as the experiment in California has shown, it causes undue delay in people being to acquire ammunition. Further, the users have already been through a background check to purchase the firearm.

HB 311 – Threats – This is a poorly drafted bill that will unnecessarily ensnare people who are involved in the most common of defensive gun uses where the defender brandishes, but does not fire the weapon. This would be a potent weapon in the arsenal of unscrupulous prosecutors.

HB 451 – Universal Background Checks – This is a bad bill because it does not define transfer as a sale, but merely possession. Hence, if I were to loan my pistol to a friend during a shooting session, we are both in violation of the law. Further, almost all guns sold in the state of Florida are done through licensed dealers which already require a background check. Finally, the only way this will work would be a state-wide registration of guns to monitor transfers. History has proven over and over again that registration is the first step to confiscation.

HB 627 – Banning all Assault Weapons and Large Capacity Magazines – Simply put, this would ban most of the firearms the citizens of Florida use for their defense. The definitions of Assault Weapons are so broad, that they fit most of the common weapons used for protection. The features the law bans are the same features that make it easier for a person of lesser strength or ability (women and the disabled) to use them for protection.

HB 809 – This increases the costs for renewing concealed carry licenses by reducing the renewal from seven to five years, and requiring a costly eight hour class each time the license is renewed. Again, this is a burden for those who can least afford and often most need these licenses. Further, over thirty years of data on Florida license holders show them to be more law abiding than even the police. Adding to their burdens does not somehow make them more safer.

HB 6009 – Removing State Preemption – This is a needlessly dangerous bill that would make Florida a patchwork of varying gun laws, and would ensnare people in local felonies for the simple act of crossing an invisible line. There are 67 counties in Florida and hundreds of municipalities. It would be impossible for the average citizen to be aware of all of the laws.that would explode if this bill became law.

HB 6049 – Elimination of Castle Doctrine and Stand Your Ground – This removes a critical protection for those who are defending their lives against a criminal, whether in their home or out in public. This would require them to know, in a life-and-death moment, if there is a safe way to flee. Even in their own homes. Even if they are with loved ones who can’t. This would be another tool for unscrupulous prosecutors to use against people who were simply defending themselves.

I hope this helps you and your staff understand why these bills are of such concern to myself and the thousands of gun owners in your district.

Sincerely,

Derek Ward

Thanks to Miguel for his list of bills, as well as everything else he does.