When I look at the differences of how I handled situations before I started carrying and now, the biggest is that I let some annoyances slide. Things that would have before got me into a rage, I just ignore or shrug off. Why? Because now I can’t afford to let things escalate into a confrontation that might become physical. Among the gun blogs, it’s often speculated on why anti-gunners seem prone to threaten or commit violence against their opponents. One theory is that they aren’t regularly carrying something that can cause immediate and irrevocable harm to another, and therefore, have lost respect for the power of violence. I refuse to engage in petty arguments not because I have a gun and can make anyone back down with my violence, but because if I have to do violence, it will not end well for anyone, including myself (see: Zimmerman, George).

The most recent Practical Defense, one of the myriad of podcasts I listen to regularly, was on verbal deescalation. Please give it a listen. The normal host, Alex Haddox, was “rebroadcasting” a podcast from Britain by Iain Abernathy. Being able to stop an altercation from becoming physical – and possibly lethal – should be extremely important to anyone who regularly carries a firearm.

Somethings I picked up from the podcast:

  1. Some situations can’t be verbally deescalated. Criminals and non-reasoning individuals (such as those under the influence and belligerent) should be dealt with by retreat or defense. Keeping your situational awareness may help in avoiding and/or recognizing these individuals.
  2. LEAPS – Listen, Empathize, Ask, Paraphrase, and Summarize; this was surprisingly similar to what I was taught at McDonald’s to “recover” a customer who had a bad experience. Make sure to use “I” statements instead of “You” statement (i.e., “I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time understanding what you just said.” instead, “You’re not making yourself clear.”)
  3. Even when deescalating, be prepared for violence. Even after everything seems resolved don’t let your guard down.

If you listen to podcasts, I highly recommend Practical Defense. If you don’t learn something new with each podcast, then you should go back and re-listen because you missed something. Even on subjects I thought I was proficient, Alex still manages to give me either new techniques or new perspectives.