For this holiday season, we decided to start a new tradition. My brother and I are atheists, but my niece and nephew and their parents aren’t. At this point in their lives, it would be hard to explain fully to the kids why my brother and I don’t celebrate Christmas. So, the compromise was the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Holiday, which we celebrate on New Year’s Day. This also simplifies logistics and allows for the introduction of pirates.
All in all, it went pretty well, although there was a distinct lack of pirating. To make up for this, my niece and nephew went about creating omens of a possible “evil overlord” future for the two of them. My brother was resting on the couch. The children came in and tried to lift him off the couch. When informed that such a feat was impossible for them without the use of machinery, they then tried to roll my brother off the couch and onto the floor.
Brother: Why would you do such a thing?
Nephew (with niece giggling in agreement: So we can listen to your pain.