I’ve been hearing ads for Simplisafe home security systems and thinking about switching to them when my current contract is up. Then this:

Unless you are a trained professional, don’t grab a weapon. This includes firearms, baseball bats and pepper spray. They all sound like a good idea, but again, we don’t know how the burglar will react to seeing an armed person. If they do have a weapon, they may be more likely to use it when they see you have one too. If you use pepper spray in an enclosed space, you and your family will also be affected by the pepper spray. If you use another weapon, such as a firearm and are not a trained professional, you run the risk of hurting yourself or a family member. And when a weapon is in your hand, you also run the risk of arriving police officers mistaking you for the intruder! 

So, we’re going to ignore the mountain of successful defensive gun uses (and other weapons) to spout worthless advice probably written by corporate lawyers afraid of being sued.

Do you know what my current company’s salesperson said when he saw my gun safe? “That’s cool! I’ve been thinking about getting my permit.” Plus, they had a booth at the NRAAM. They at least recognize who is buying their system and aren’t likely to insult us with such worthless advice.

So, Simplisafe, you have lost my business. End of story. 

H/t to Miguel