To the people who are ecstatic that Trump was elected because he’s going to be some sort of Conservative God-King and fix all of your problems – stop that shit! You’re acting like the Obama supporters in 2008, and your jiggly bits aren’t as attractive as their jiggly bits when you jump up and down celebrating.
To the mainstream media – Congratulations on getting the candidate you created elected while destroying your credibility at the same time. And the same goes to Fox News and Breitbart.
To the reluctant Republican voters – Great, Hillary was defeated. Now you’re going to have to fight even harder when Trump continues the socialization of America. Also, try to remember that not everyone on the other side is a rabid SJW who wants to destroy America.
To the reluctant Democrat voters – You got screwed by your party, and for that, you have my sympathies. I look forward to working with you on some issues and opposing you on others. Also, try to remember that not everyone on the other side is a racist, sexist homophobe bent on turning America white by sword and flame.
To those who think Trump’s elections means minorities are about to be oppressed – for fuck’s sake FIGHT. If you really think the Klan and its ilk have been given some sort of mandate, arm yourself and get some training on self-defense. Hell, I’ll help you. Hell, I’ll stand with you against those trying to do you harm. That being said, your constant harping on minute things as racism/sexism/homophobia is getting old and it makes people less likely to help when real problems arise. Please read “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” again.
To the Libertarian Party – This could have been your year to really make a difference, and you let your ticket fuck it up by the numbers. I mean, come on, Bill Weld?
To everyone else outside the nation screaming about how insane we are – Fuck you. You scream and bitch, and then the moment there’s a fucking problem, America is supposed to fix it.
To my fellow Americans – We survived. We survived the shittiest election that I can remember. Guess what? We’ll keep surviving. It’s what we do.